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伍子攸
發表於: Nov 17 2012, 10:43  評價+1
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二品官
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我這個英文廢柴為了振興HKSAN,決定捨生取義,以一手爛到不行的英文,來請各位多多指教!


An 'edifying' issue

Yesterday my teacher taught us about patriotism, and expressed his antipathy to mainlander. At first, he asked a question about our nationality, which is aimed to disapprove of the identification of Chinese that some students called themselves. Using patriotism is the best and invincible weapon. Because it contains a radical perspective that people must uphold their country blindly. On the basis of this, critics only need to give evidence to fight against this perspective, and it would easily defeat it as he define. I am disappointed with that lecture, there was no impartial justification,but a subjective sight enclosing a single reason. Several evidence about the vice of several Chinese is inevitable, but more is specious.

15th November 2012

本篇文章已被 伍子攸 於 Nov 17 2012, 15:18 編輯過


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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伍子攸
發表於: Nov 17 2012, 10:52  評價+1
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二品官
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humanity

BBC press reported a humanitarian catastrophe in Syria. Many innocent residents were killed and they could not flee from the control of dictator Bashar al Assad. Also, according to the interview, there would be more and more people slaughtered, for they tried to evacuate and waited for rescue. A soldier who defected from his leader Bashar al Assad told the correspondents that they had received an order, which they must shout on every object they saw. It seems that the government of Syria is cruel and savage, with great weapons. However, are those reports true? A apparently curious point is they even hadn't had any pictures or photos, or something which could really support their reports. Instead of this, only letters had been revealed. I cannot help asking why BBC could believe those reports with no suspicion. Could a 'moral judgment' propel BBC to assign a lot of fictitious affairs? Western media always think they are ethical and moral, therefore they have the right to call those affairs as eascalated violence from Syria government, without scrutiny and manifestation.

17th November 2012


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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伍子攸
發表於: Nov 21 2012, 13:41  
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二品官
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Essay

Israeli aircraft, bombing upon the Palestinian place, had killed a good deal of innocent people, and shown they were responding. Several days ago, the sovereign of Israel had claimed that the military poised for Gaza ground war, and denounced the attack from Hamas. It is absurd that Israel, which unceasingly bombarded cities of Palestine, could blame on the radical response from Hamas. It doesn't necessarily mean that Hamas does have right to assault to Israel. However, it does have the right to take self-defence from the drastic rocket fire set up by Israel. Also, could an unreasonable and outrageous action with impunity be tolerated? Intrigued by ally including Israel, America and western media, the isolated, lonely and helpless Palestinian could not share their hope and dream, and what they can do is to fight against the most bare-facedest people in America and their puppet.

21st November 2012

本篇文章已被 伍子攸 於 Nov 21 2012, 13:42 編輯過


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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伍子攸
發表於: Dec 7 2012, 15:44  
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二品官
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發表數: 1,605
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註冊日期: 4-12-2005

活躍:9
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可以個話,希望各位前輩可以插爆我啲文章,因為我啲英文真係好弱,同埋我又真係好想改善英文。所以請各位多多指教!


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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Caesar
發表於: Dec 7 2012, 16:38  
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Loop
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支持持續發表


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Get busy living, or get busy dying.

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伍子攸
發表於: Dec 23 2012, 14:36  
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二品官
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I have been reading ''The history of the decline and fall of the roman empire'' for more than one year, however, I still haven't finished it. Therefore, I just quote sentences, or even paragraph, and, for the improvement of my understanding of this book, I would like to ask for help, which concerns the meaning of this book. Also, because my English is really, completely, terribly, disastrously pour, so hopefully you can be patient, and point out the mistake I have made, thank you!


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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龍驤將軍
發表於: Jan 6 2013, 16:02  
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葉公好龍
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若不嫌棄,愚亦寫寫,望各位指教

what's the most suitable way of English writing?I've got two totally different theory of English writing before.One is using simple English structure and avoiding complicated vocabularies.Another one is opposite with upon one. What should I do in the DSE?

本篇文章已被 龍驤將軍 於 Jan 6 2013, 16:02 編輯過
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伍子攸
發表於: Jan 24 2013, 15:14  
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二品官
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註冊日期: 4-12-2005

活躍:9
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將軍兄可以另開新帖,因為此帖大有機會向地核進發,隨時消聲匿跡。
哀江南賦曰:「將軍死綏,路絕重圍,烽隨星落,書逐駌飛」,小弟才思已絕,惟有遁身空門。

Oh my goodness! I don't know how to write a good article and essay!
sad.gif


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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龍驤將軍
發表於: Jan 24 2013, 16:39  
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葉公好龍
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發表數: 3,097
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註冊日期: 5-13-2007

活躍:12
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既然已經有貼,別浪費了。

分享一下名句,如陶傑言:袋定一兩句係身,出來行總有好處

Never was so much owed by so many to so few - Winston Churchill

user posted image

本篇文章已被 龍驤將軍 於 Jan 24 2013, 16:40 編輯過
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伍子攸
發表於: Mar 23 2013, 15:13  
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二品官
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In the course of Spring and Autumn period, the memorable war which we won't forget must be the conflict between Jin and Chu called the war of bei(邲之戰). This dispute deeply changed the position of Jin, and, if we bear in mind, the Hegemons(霸) which it previously owned; however, not only had the position changed, but also had the perspective between the king of Jin and Chu reserved . The general indicated that the reason of becoming a Hegemon is military and force(晉所以霸,師武臣力也。), but not the trustworthiness(信) and benevolence(仁).Therefore, the carelessness, snobbishness and aggressiveness of the generals of Jin eventually caused the defeat of their military. The victory of Chu made the king hegemon, and that means, we should remember, the victory of trustworthiness and benevolence, which although we would think curious, was the key point at this chaotic period.

本篇文章已被 伍子攸 於 Mar 23 2013, 15:35 編輯過


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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秋盈
發表於: Apr 12 2013, 03:33  評價+2
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聖教教主
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註冊日期: 9-19-2003

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抱歉,現在才看到這帖子。這個點子不錯,鼓勵各位繼續下去。

秋盈不才,略說幾點意見給你參考。

第一篇An 'edifying' issue尚算清晰,但要注意眾數、單數名詞和動詞時態(tenses)等文法,有些地方用字須斟酌,中文字詞有褒貶,英文亦然。此外,應多用連接詞說明因果或並排的關係。

QUOTE
Yesterday my teacher taught us about patriotism, and expressed his antipathy to mainlander.

Mainlander應用眾數Mainlanders。Mainland本身是中性詞,對外國讀者而言,不一定專指中國大陸的人,或可改成mainland Chinese,意義更清晰。

QUOTE
At first, he asked a question about our nationality, which is aimed to disapprove of the identification of Chinese that some students called themselves. Using patriotism is the best and invincible weapon.

前句與後句關係不明確。如果後句是老師的意見,可在前面加上He said,變成He said using... 其實using也是不必要的。Patriotism is the best and invincible weapon已可,但weapon後說明這是誰的「武器」更好。即使老師沒有說,你可以按照自己的理解補上,因為文章是寫給人看的,讀者沒有上你的課,不會知道老師說甚麼,作者有必要補充,令不在場的人完全明瞭其內容。

QUOTE
Because it contains a radical perspective that people must uphold their country blindly. On the basis of this, critics only need to give evidence to fight against this perspective, and it would easily defeat it as he define. I am disappointed with that lecture, there was no impartial justification,but a subjective sight enclosing a single reason. Several evidence about the vice of several Chinese is inevitable, but more is specious.

Contain通常用於可見(tangible)的實物,愛國主義之類的概念是抽象的,用contain似乎不太合適。I am disappointed與there was no impartial justification之間應用because而不是逗號,以表明因果關係。Evidence沒有眾數,量詞不能用several。


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感月吟風多少事,如今老去無成。誰憐憔悴更飄零,試燈無意思,踏雪沒心情。

梅林邀月
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伍子攸
發表於: Apr 13 2013, 15:38  
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二品官
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註冊日期: 4-12-2005

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↑謝謝,受益匪淺。

Essay

Reading Edward Gibbon's 'the decline and fall of roman empire' is a difficulty for me. It's complex sentence structure and theology of which I have no idea have made me frustrated. Although I checked the dictionary again and again, the difficult words, although are practical for me to know more about Roman Empire, are so horrible that I almost want to give up and throw the book away. I realize what I would like to 'surpass' is a invincible enemy, then I tried to think, is it worth reading? It doesn't mean that this book is not good enough, but it does mean that this book is just to hard for me. Therefore, I still want to 'surpass' it, but not now.


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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秋盈
發表於: Apr 14 2013, 06:13  評價+1
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聖教教主
************

發表數: 2,915
所屬群組: 君主
註冊日期: 9-19-2003

活躍:12
聲望:739


客氣了。

第二篇寫得不錯,但同樣須注意用字和時態文法。

QUOTE
BBC press reported a humanitarian catastrophe in Syria.

BBC後不用press,直接寫BBC reported便可。

QUOTE
A soldier who defected from his leader Bashar al Assad told the correspondents that they had received an order, which they must shout on every object they saw.

Shout應該是shoot吧?Object--不論有沒有生命、會不會動--也要shoot?是moving object或是甚麼?

QUOTE
However, are those reports true? A apparently curious point is they even hadn't had any pictures or photos, or something which could really support their reports.

這裡不宜用past perfect tense,直接用past tense便可。Picture和photo意思重複,或可用photo or video footage or any other form of evidence to support their news report.

QUOTE
Western media always think they are ethical and moral, therefore they have the right to call those affairs as eascalated violence from Syria government, without scrutiny and manifestation.

eascalated應是escalated之誤。Manifestation含有徵狀的意思,在這裡似乎不太合適,或可用更常見的evidence或proof之類。


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感月吟風多少事,如今老去無成。誰憐憔悴更飄零,試燈無意思,踏雪沒心情。

梅林邀月
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willyho
發表於: Apr 16 2013, 12:21  
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八品官
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An apparently? or A apparent? ('an' before a vowel?)
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伍子攸
發表於: Apr 16 2013, 12:51  
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二品官
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QUOTE (willyho @ Apr 16 2013, 20:21 )
An apparently? or A apparent? ('an' before a vowel?)

I change to ''An apparently curious point'' is it correct? huh.gif


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HKS AN無擔面對我!腦收成路!多廁俾我講中吾敢出去!我已經臝左!!!!!

HKS an no take noodle face me! brain receive achieve road! many toilets give me say middle I dare to go out! I've already naked!

HKS AN unsecured face me! Brain harvest road! Multiple closets serve my lecture I'm out of here! I've left naked!!!!!
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秋盈
發表於: Apr 19 2013, 03:34  
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聖教教主
************

發表數: 2,915
所屬群組: 君主
註冊日期: 9-19-2003

活躍:12
聲望:739


QUOTE (伍子攸 @ Apr 16 2013, 20:51 )
QUOTE (willyho @ Apr 16 2013, 20:21 )
An apparently? or A apparent? ('an' before a vowel?)

I change to ''An apparently curious point'' is it correct? huh.gif

這才對了。


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感月吟風多少事,如今老去無成。誰憐憔悴更飄零,試燈無意思,踏雪沒心情。

梅林邀月
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秋盈
發表於: Apr 19 2013, 04:12  評價+1
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聖教教主
************

發表數: 2,915
所屬群組: 君主
註冊日期: 9-19-2003

活躍:12
聲望:739


這一篇有點不明所以,可以寫得精簡些、直接些。寫作首先要讓人看得懂,文法無誤,然後再談修辭。

On [date], an Israeli aircraft bombed [name of city/district] of Palestine, killing a large number of people. Several days ago, Israel claimed that the air strike was meant to counteract the ground war in Gaza, and denounced the attack by Hamas. It is absurd to me that Israel, which has been bombarding the cities of Palestine for a long time, to blame its military actions on the radical response from Hamas. Of course, it doesn't mean that Hamas' assault on Israel is justified. But Hamas does have the right to defend itself from the rocket fire from Israel. Isolated by the alliance of Israel and the United States, as well as the apathy and negligence of the international media, the helpless Palestinians have little hope and choice but to fight back.


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感月吟風多少事,如今老去無成。誰憐憔悴更飄零,試燈無意思,踏雪沒心情。

梅林邀月
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