[笑話/諷刺]英文詞語解釋

英文新意思


Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end; a fool on the other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of

the students without passing through the minds of either

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the

biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water

power

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody

disagrees later on.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.



Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that

nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look

forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway

" See I am not injured yet. "

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest ...except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

本篇文章已被 阿暪 於 Sep 18 2006, 04:46 編輯過

正﹐正呀。